this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
