We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
