So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
