So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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