i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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