look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
