he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
