Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize