So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
