I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
