Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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