i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
