dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
