That's intense
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
