We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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