absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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