My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
