im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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