you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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