Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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