i love accidental penises.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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