i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
