The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
