Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
