dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize