What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
