Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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