I'm really into asian looking animals
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
