Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
