she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Dignity is for republicans.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
