I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize