This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
