dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
