So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
