I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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