biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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