just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i dont even know how to be here
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
