she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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