I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
