oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
