8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
