The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
