I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she told me i tasted like america
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
