Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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