Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
