people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
