Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
