when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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