booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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