lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
