I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize