I can tuck mytits in my pants
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize