It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
