Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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