I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
