Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize