i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My pussy is not your playground.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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