Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
