am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
