You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
