hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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