obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize