i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
