Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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